Why is the conversation around the slogan, “Trans Women are Women!” so dangerous and so difficult?
Isn’t saying “Trans Women are Women,” just a nice inclusive way of referring to Trans Women and shouldn't we all be on board with this? Is…
Isn’t saying “Trans Women are Women,” just a nice inclusive way of referring to Trans Women and shouldn't we all be on board with this? Is it simply a harmless political slogan that’s symbolic of the rights of Trans women to live free of oppression? Is it fair to point out that a subset of people in the trans community are abusing it for their own ends, exploiting the goodwill and naiveté of the public while shutting down conversations about their own bad behavior? Is it fair that the reputation of a whole group of people fighting for legitimacy in society have had their identity hijacked by people who would defile it?
My answer is that as a chant, it’s a request for a gross overstepping of societal norms; as a political cause, if we look to jurisdictions who have alread done this, it’s a promise of disaster. We can see over and over how once trusted institutions have become public embarrassments.
Including the concept that “trans women are (actual) women” within legal frameworks being implemented under the banner of “trans rights” all over the world. And it is now being increasingly exploited for the perverse gains of some men who hide in the ambiguities of these laws and behind their magic shield of “transphobia” accusations of anyone who questions them.
Among the unintended consequences of the slogan and because of the ambiguity of the definition of a trans women (ie self-identification) is that men in the prison system in the US and the UK are “coming out” as trans and they are being transferred to women’s prisons. This wave of hundreds of men includes many sex offenders, and it’s being executed with all the resultant and horrifying impacts one would expect.
My criticism today is about the inappropriate sexual, predatory and fetishistic behavior of a small group of so-called trans women who are not in prison — but perhaps should be. Some of these people, the exception to the norm of legitimate trans women, comprise a vocally significant number of the online trans influencers and trans-activists. They are among the loudest voices. Their predations are increasingly creeping into public awareness and they are increasingly claiming that they are the victims of bigotry, transphobia and hatred when confronted with their illegitimate demands to access women’s spaces.
Is it ok for us to accept and talk about sexual predators and abusers who are exploiting our sympathies, while shielding themselves from criticism behind the Pride Banner? Is it acceptable that these people are blocking thoughtful public conversation by blame-shifting onto their critics, gaslighting the public and claiming that any conversation that is critical of them is a hate crime? Should we accept that trans activists and allies automatically treat every utterance that doesn’t rain flowers and glitter on them with hysterical accusations of bigotry, hate-speech and contempt, while dressing their perceived interlocutors with the modern scarlet-letter-label: “Transphobe!”
Trans Women should absolutely reject these kinds of abusers; and should absolutely be aligned with weeding out these people from their midst. It’s time to call out, reign in and police the people who are hijacking the politics of transgender rights for their own ends and we should absolutely be calling their behaviors what they are: grotesque, abusive and predatory.
The coordinated online abuse, bullying and shouting down of legitimate public discourse and the false claims of hate-speech, along with mobbing and cancelling anyone who doesn’t support them for narrative non-compliance has no place in a civil society.
Both groups seek to adapt their outward appearance from male to female but they are not the same.
We know this quite irrefutably. There are two types of people who claim to be Trans Women. They are not the same.
The first type is the early-onset type, characterized by consistent, insistent, and persistent childhood presentation of being trapped in the wrong body. Based on studies, these biological males are generally androphyllic. Prior to the sixties and seventies, before we developed the medical technology to undertake medical gender reassignment, we would have described these people as homosexual transvestites. They present as very effeminate boys from a young age and do so consistently through their childhood. Up until recently with the explosion of the numbers of children demanding and receiving gender affirmative therapy and medical intervention as young as nine or ten, this type of man, presenting with gender dysphoria, typically sought clinical and medical transition support in their early to mid-twenties.
Now, to say accurately, we know that gender a-typical behavior and cross-sex identification in children is fairly common, but it is historically extremely rare for it to persist into adulthood. Most kids, contrary to the disturbing beliefs and medical-transition practices adopted in the last decade on an unimaginable scale, simply grow out of it — which is why the trend of conducting experimental medical transition therapy in tweens and teens is so disturbing to many — in that it’s not allowing children time to develop naturally.
Historically, many bio-males who fit the childhood patterns of cross-sex self-identification whose gender dysphoria has persisted into adulthood, have, in many cultures, chosen to present themselves in dress and manner as women. This is an extremely small number of people relative to the population. Some estimates (DSM V) say the prevalence of this phenomenon occurs only in about 1 in 10,000, but even it occurs in 1 of 2,000 it’s still a rare condition.
The second type of transgender woman is the adult-onset form. This form and pattern of presentation of Male to Female trans is what was once known as Transvestic Fetishism or modernly as Autogynephelia (AGP). This is classified in psychology and medicine as a sexual paraphilia. AGP takes the form of a sexual fantasy of oneself where most often a heterosexual or bisexual man dreams of being a woman because it arouses them. In this type, the fantasy of dressing up as, and acting as a woman is part of a constellation of behaviors that plays into an autoerotic sexual fantasy. Men who present in this category based on decades of research, typically live as gender-typical heterosexual men, often married, with children, well onto their adulthood before transitioning.
Bluntly put, Transvestic Fetishism or AGP, is a description and set of clinical observation of how some men become sexually aroused. It appears that this paraphilia intensifies over time to the point where some men are so possessed by it that it increasingly intrudes into their otherwise normal lives leading them to transition.
Some of these men keep this fantasy to themselves. Perhaps they chose to transition but their sexual excitement and gratification is contained within the boundaries of their private life; however, some people with AGP extend their sexual fetish to include other people and this is where one of the many problems associated with the slogan, “Trans Women are Women!” lays.
It is important within their fetishistic sense of self to participate in the world as women, and the more authentic the female embodiment and experience is, the more this validates their fantasies.
The subset of AGP men who can’t confine their fantasies to their private domains, can be easily found on social media, fantasize about having periods and visiting the gynecologist, about getting their genitals waxed in women’s spas, and about getting pregnant and having lactating breasts. They seek validation for their fantasies of womanliness and seek increasing thrills by insinuating themselves into women’s only spaces and groups.
We must remember that this subtype, which we confuse with legitimate trans women, are actually heterosexual men who are trying to get the rest of the world to play along with their sexual fantasies — including getting the world to chant along for their benefit, that trans women are actually women.
We know from decades of studies that there is a lot more to human sexuality than a man and a woman doing the missionary in the dark. But when a man inserts himself into public spaces, and penetrates into women’s changing rooms, women’s spas, women’s only birthing support groups, post-natal support groups, women’s rape shelters and into gynecologist’s offices (not hyperbole) we should all pay attention, and we should all be concerned. Especially when any public comment or critical observation of this is attacked as hateful and is shouted down as transphobic.
Many of these abusive men rely on the compassion that we have learned which we have justifiably enshrined in our culture for historically oppressed minorities like gays and lesbians. They invoke the same protections for their behaviors as if acting out their sexual fantasies with unwitting participants should be protected under the law. This is an abuse of the compassion that we, as a civil society, extended to our LGB brothers, sisters, children, and parents decades ago.
No-one should be ok with this.
We must be able to speak about this openly lest the increasing number of shocking revelations about this subset of people who claim to be Trans creates blowback and does harm to people who legitimately have gender dysphoria and need the understanding and acceptance of the rest of society.
Sadly, in the current cultural climate, anyone who puts forward the discussion and factual observations of this phenomenon is shouted down, cyber-mobbed and publicly shamed under the banner of transphobia. But when you understand how some people are manipulating the unwitting public, the accusation of “transphobia” becomes just as meaningless as the slogan “Trans Women are Women!”
Thoughtful people should accept these attacks as a badge of honor for speaking truth in a climate of aggressive censorship and bullying and should continue to raise their voices and speak out against these kinds of abuses.
We should all beware that we don’t play into the sexual fantasies of a subgroup of heterosexual men with poor boundaries or personality disorders who cloak themselves in the rainbow flag. These are the men who get off wearing women’s underwear. These are the men who aggressively seek and demand validation as “Real Women.” These are the men who abusively shut down conversations and questions about this topic while invoking human rights protections.
It is clear that some of these people also extract narcissistic supply from the people they abuse and from the pushback they get — exhibiting many of the typical behaviors of narcissists like a lack of empathy for the needs of others, exploitative tendencies, grandiose senses of entitlement and obviously manipulative behaviors. Not to mention a complete disregard for the truth, in favor of false accusations of abuse and aggressive shaming. These are the hallmark of a gaslighter.
People with AGP should not involve unwitting others in the public sphere in their sexual fantasies cloaked in the rainbow flag. It’s not ok. It sets us back and undermines the legitimate place trans people have in our society. People who can’t contain their sexual proclivities and who hide behind human rights protections should be called for what they are. Abusive and exploitative of others.
They are just as abhorrent as other sexual deviants like the peeping toms, the flashers, the diddlers, and the tree-jumpers. We do not accept or forgive the comedians and Hollywood power-broker types who like to get off in front of the unwilling people they’ve coerced and cornered in their green-rooms and hotel suites, who deposit the proceeds of their fantasies into the potted plastic plants. We should not accept the behavior of any men with fantasies of being a “real woman” who are covertly involving others in their paraphilias and fetishes.
Originally published at https://medium.com on August 18, 2021.